Even after a divorce is finalized, the emotional damage can take a long time to heal. Still, while you are dealing with the mental and spiritual hardships that come from life after marriage, life does not stop. Bills must be paid, taxes prepared, and you and your children (if any) may need to budget and spend more carefully.

Sadly, a fiscal misstep during these times can be just as costly as a misstep during calmer periods of your life, which simply means that you cannot forget to mind your money. Fortunately, the steps for gaining control over your finances after a marriage ends are much the same as gaining control over money any other time.

Face the Financial Truth

The first thing that you should do is realize that post-divorce, money is likely going to become tighter. Even if both you and your spouse worked, you alone will now be responsible for all of your bills, which may include child support. At least in the short term, understanding that your standard of living is going to change will make the rest of the steps that much easier.

Create a Budget

The first step toward managing your money after a divorce is creating (and sticking to) a budget. You can use a simple and free spreadsheet program, like Google Docs, or an online tool like BudgetSimple, to track how much money you have coming in and how you spend it.

Once you understand how to spend your money, determine your money needs (home, food, bills, entertainment) and allocate a certain amount of money to each category. You may want to set aside smaller amounts for many of the categories, like entertainment, at least for the first few months. This will give you a reserve pool of funds in case any surprises, stemming from the new living arrangements, arise.

Once you have allocated an amount to those categories, follow the budget exactly. Hopefully, you can create a budget that is acceptable, because once created, you actually need to follow it. Spend only as much as allocated for each category (or less if possible). In essence, these are your living expenses. Put the unspent funds into savings or use them to pay down debt.

Paying Child Support/Alimony

You are legally and morally obligated to make court-mandated child support or alimony payments. Even if you do not like how the money is spent by your ex-spouse, you still have to pay. Protests can go through normal, legal channels, but you will not provide a valid argument if you first break the law by skipping payments.

Failure to make these payments can cause a number of problems including being arrested, fined, or having to pay more court fees. Obviously, all three of these situations have negative consequences for you and for your monetary situation.

Understand the Tax Implications

When you go to file your taxes for the year in which the divorce occurred, you need to be careful about filling out your tax return. Even if you were physically separated (not living together) for the entire year, up until the point your divorce was finalized, you still need to file appropriately.

When filing that return, you will have one of two options: to file married filing jointly or married filing separately. There are risks and advantages to both. If filing separately, you protect yourself if your spouse decides not to pay his/her taxes for whatever reason, but you will pay more in taxes. If you file jointly, you pay less, but you open yourself to more risk.

There are also issues when claiming children as exemptions on a tax return. Only the custodial parent may claim the children unless he/she gives written permission.

The tax laws surrounding divorce can make filing difficult. Because of this, even if you have not been so inclined previously, strongly consider consulting an accountant either alone or with your former spouse to determine which the right choice is for you. If you need an accountant, Accountant-list.com is a good place to start your search.

Know That Money is Not a Weapon

The last thing to remember is that money should not be a weapon to use against a former spouse. A divorce is difficult enough without one side or the other using money to do harm.

These steps are only the beginning, but if followed faithfully, they can allow you to maintain (or gain) control over your finances.